SPRING BREAK 2022
Long travel days by car or plane, lack of sleep before and during your trip, nonstop liquid consumption, and poor decision making when it comes to eating, imbibing, and risk taking (inside and outside of your motel room). What do you call that? No, it’s not a typical Saturday night at your frat. It’s a spring tsunami of shenanigans that usually lasts longer than you want it to. It’s Spring Breaking Bad – the 2022 episode. And it’s full of AAACK! moments – one after another after another.
Not to compare your Spring Break to the mishaps of a drug dealer trying to survive the corrupt world of crime, but don’t be a Walter White. Read on for some tips on how to avoid Spring Breaking Bad.
- Lack of Sleep
Though you may be periodically passing out, you’re likely not getting the quality sleep your still-growing body needs to properly function. Operating on less shuteye is going to depress your immune system and make you more susceptible to illness. And, all that free beer at the all–inclusive will undoubtedly disrupt your slumber. To make the best of a bad situation we recommend an immune booster like Airborne, ear plugs to cancel out the partying going on outside your door, and if necessary, a sleep mask to block the noonday sun pouring through your windows.
- Too Much Sun
No matter how many articles you read about the dangers of long-term sun exposure, devil may care, we’re doing it. So be smart before the alcohol takes effect. I can’t say it any better than this Web advice – wear sunscreen. Get it on early and apply it often. And, don’t forget the eyes and lips. Squinting and exposure to excessive sun without sunglasses will take its toll, and if you’ve ever had sunburned lips than you’ll want to keep some SPF lip balm handy.
“You can’t drink all day unless you start in the morning.” “Breakfast of champions.” Whatever your favorite motto, that all-day quest is probably going to result in a few things. First, your constitution doesn’t really like a continuous supply of alcohol, so your head could rebel. Second, alcohol is a diuretic; it takes water from the body. That’s gonna make you tired and possibly give you a headache. And third, your stomach may not respond well to a diet of beer, shots, and energy drinks. It’s hard to look and feel hot in that new bikini with a rumbly tummy! Headache and stomach meds – take both along for the fun.
- Strange Foods
“How long have those nachos been sitting out?”
“I don’t know, dude. Just go for it.”
Oh, that’s going to happen, but hopefully the tequila will kill whatever food poisoning may ensue. If not, you will need a stomach settler and a backup in case that doesn’t work. Think Pepto and Immodium, the jab and right cross. Headaches are one thing, soiling your shorts quite another. If that happens, you’ll have a nickname that sticks with you for the duration of your collegiate career. Got it, Stainmaster? Okay, we’re all on the same page.
- Strange Sex
According to the CDC almost half of the 20 million new sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) diagnosed each year are among young people aged 15-24 years of age; about one in four of all new HIV infections are among young people aged 13-24 years old. I wonder what the average age of a typical spring breaker is?
‘Nuf said … take condoms … don’t come back from your trip with a painful and never-ending reminder of Spring Breaking Bad 2022. And, this includes girls, as well. If your date hasn’t thought this far ahead, I’m sure it’s not the first time. You are the smarter sex, be prepared.
Finally, drink a lot of water from a secure source – bottle or something similar. The hydration will keep your blood alcohol content (BAC) in check, keep you hydrated, and go a long way toward ensuring you don’t wake up next to your new friend and wonder – “Who is that and what did we do?”